Movie Review
Ninja Assassin
Katie Everhart
Issue date: 11/30/09 Section: Culture
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"Ninja Assassin," directed by James McTeigue, opens with an older man tattooing a younger man with a sharp wooden stick. Bright red ink flows over the empty design on his bareback. He reeks of disrespect and poor acting skills. Then, he receives an envelope with a thick, red seal. He opens it and black sand spills out all over the floor.
The old man attempts to look terrified and says their bodies will soon lie in pools of blood.
He reveals a scar across his left breast with a ninja stabbing a long blade into it. He has met these creatures before and only lived because, lucky for him, his heart is on the other side.
The room erupts in staged laughter and the lights go out. Nobody enters the room but something has changed.
Instantly, bodies are slashed. Limbs are sliced off quicker than you can cut a steak. Electric red blood sprays out of the newly severed body parts. A ninja rises out of the floor to take his last victim - the elderly man with the tattoo. His blood squirts the title onto the screen.
If you aren't the least bit interested at this point, then you should've never considered seeing this movie.
We meet Mika, played by Naomie Harris, who is a young intelligence agent completely enthralled by the ninja legend. She has been researching them for a while and wants to blow the story up. But first she has to convince her boss that they are real.
We also meet Raizo, played by Korean popstar, Rain. His apartment is vacant except for a few silver suitcases. He opens them and reveals intricate ninja weapons. He puts them to use in an awe-inspiring practice run.
Children are taken by the Ozunu Clan and trained to be lethal weapons. They are punished heavily for mistakes and rewarded with a hardened heart. Raizo, one of the children, falls in love with a girl at the camp. She tries to escape and is executed right before his eyes.
It's clear this movie isn't just about murderous ninjas - it is also a story of revenge. Raizo has a heart after all. When a hit is put out on Mika, he does everything he can to save her, while wanting most of all to kill off the Ozunu Clan.
The Ozunu Clan is a group of hired assassins. When a government or political organization wants someone dead they pay to have it done without a trace. The ninjas are portrayed as humans with real emotion and physical pain, but we are supposed to believe that when they go to kill someone they are spooks moving within dark shadows.
These ninjas are the highest members of the clan and yet some of their deaths are a little too easy.
McTeigue took a lesson from the Power Rangers - the minions can always be defeated relatively quickly by one powerful good guy.
Though not believable, it looks awesome and we really want Raizo to get on to the good fights because he is more or less indestructible.
The amount of blood makes "300" look playful. It's vivid and enthralling. This movie is one crazy joyride - you get pleasure in the absurd assassinations.
keverhart@unews.com
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