The University News

Issue date: 11/2/09 Section: Forum

Media Credit: Melissa Oribhabor

When I was in high school, having a boyfriend was a big deal.

If you didn't have a boyfriend, it was because there was something about you boys didn't like and you needed to fix it so you could have a boyfriend.

Unfortunately, I had a scary older brother who, early on in middle school, put the word out that I was off-limits until graduation.

I was happy when high school was over and the pressure to be paired-up went away - or at least I thought it did.

Turns out, once a girl turns 21, the pressure switches from "get a boyfriend" to "get married."

At least boyfriends were disposable.

I graduated from the University of Missouri in May 2008, and most of my friends, although in relationships, were unmarried. But during the past year and a half, this has changed.

Slowly, my friends' Facebook statuses started to change from "in a relationship" to "engaged" and then, inevitably, to "married."

Their profile pictures were of them in their wedding dresses or just a closeup of the rings on their hands.

But it didn't bother me too much, I guess.

It was their choice, and if they were actually marrying the right person for the right reasons, then I was more than happy for them because that's the way it should be.

I am 23 years old and, much to the shock and horror of my mother, her friends and everyone over the age of 40, I am not married. What bothers them more is that I don't want to be.

Don't get me wrong, I want to get married. I have no desire to be like Samantha Jones from "Sex and the City" and just live like a 20-year-old forever. I'm just not ready now.

It seems like some people, in their desire to get married, forget how permanent marriage is.

It's not like a high school boyfriend.

You can't get rid of him just by deleting his number from your cell phone. You'll need a lawyer and a judge.

Marriage is a big deal and it is not something that should be entered into lightly.

And, maybe, the divorce rate in this country wouldn't be so high if people slowed down.

So, I have decided to wait. I'm going to wait until I find someone who I am compatible with and has the same goals as me.

I'm going to wait until I have the career I want and live in the town I want, so I won't have to move.

I'm going to wait until I can afford to get married and until I am ready.

Even if this means there is something "wrong" with me, I'm OK with that. Marriage is more than just a wedding, it's a life-long commitment to another person.

Remember that the next time you start picking out a ring after the second date.

moribhabor@unews.com

Page 1 of 1

Article Tools