The University News

Issue date: 10/26/09 Section: Culture

Media Credit: Chris Conway Phil, a long-time zombie, is tired of being discriminated against.

Spend some time in Westport and you are likely to see many different people from all walks of life.

But recently, multiple sightings of one person in particular have caused quite a stir.

"Zombies!" Chris Conway, Westport panhandler and vagrant, said. "I've seen 'em 'round here. They're scaring everyone away."

According to the Kansas City Police Department, reports of zombie sightings have increased over the past month.

Traditionally, people are frightened by zombies because of their affinity for brains.

But some zombies resent the stereotypes.

"I'm just trying to live a normal life," Phil, long time zombie, said. "It's hard being a zombie."

Phil has been a zombie for more than 30 years.

"It happened when I was hooking up with this girl," Phil said. "I just thought she was really aggressive. Turns out, she was a total zombie."

Phil said humans are not the only ones who have been hurt by the economic recession.

"The only thing I can do is be an actor," he said. "The '80s were great. There were multiple parts for zombies. I was even in the 'Thriller' video."

Since then, the number of zombie roles has dwindled and Phil has been forced to take a job at Office Max.

"I tried to get a job at one of the haunted houses, but they said I wasn't convincing enough as a zombie," he said.

Phil urges any fellow zombies to join his support group.

"We meet at the YMCA every Wednesday," he said.

Most of all, Phil wants to live a normal life.

"When I come down to Westport for a cup of coffee, everyone freaks out when they see me!" he said. "Life as a zombie is pretty rough."

tallen@unews.com

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