Spring Break
Dear Christian, - Kiss and tell
Christian Rose
Issue date: 10/13/08 Section: Culture
Dearest readers,
Usually I would never do something so crass as to break the cardinal rule of discretion - I hold this principle in highest regard. However, I feel it important this week to kiss-and-tell.
Generally speaking, if someone asks me out, I make it a point to oblige. Of course, there are a few factors involved, but, if there is nothing blaringly obvious to prevent me from extending concurrence, I find it rude to decline.
Please be aware after eons of being single, I have honed my instincts at weeding out the crazies and devil worshippers - for the most part.
For instance, if someone happens to extend an invitation to a roast at the Temple of Set, I've learned it is not some Jewish version of a barbeque. It ends with scary men in hooded masks roasting a pig and praying to the devil.
Dear hearts, I am all for freedom of religion and experiencing new things, but, at the end of the day, I am a Southern Catholic - and a relationship with someone that prays to Satan would not work out.
I think it was understood there would not be a second date when I ran to my car, locked the doors and said the stations as I peeled out of the boarded-up abandoned warehouse parking lot. After all, why would you spend 20 or 30 years with someone that you won't bump into in the hereafter?
Granted, the above situation, in retrospect, could have been avoided if I would have simply noticed the pentagram tattoo on the wrist or the less visible 666 on the license plate. But, ever the optimist, I like to believe that everyone is entitled to their own belief system. Unless you're blowing up buildings or dropping children down wells, I figure I can find 20 minutes in my schedule to have a latte, as long as you're paying.
My grandma would say you should never complain about being single if you are always washing your hair on Saturday night. I forget, dearest, that most of you do not speak Southern. Allow me to translate. You have to get out there and make yourself available!
Usually I would never do something so crass as to break the cardinal rule of discretion - I hold this principle in highest regard. However, I feel it important this week to kiss-and-tell.
Generally speaking, if someone asks me out, I make it a point to oblige. Of course, there are a few factors involved, but, if there is nothing blaringly obvious to prevent me from extending concurrence, I find it rude to decline.
Please be aware after eons of being single, I have honed my instincts at weeding out the crazies and devil worshippers - for the most part.
For instance, if someone happens to extend an invitation to a roast at the Temple of Set, I've learned it is not some Jewish version of a barbeque. It ends with scary men in hooded masks roasting a pig and praying to the devil.
Dear hearts, I am all for freedom of religion and experiencing new things, but, at the end of the day, I am a Southern Catholic - and a relationship with someone that prays to Satan would not work out.
I think it was understood there would not be a second date when I ran to my car, locked the doors and said the stations as I peeled out of the boarded-up abandoned warehouse parking lot. After all, why would you spend 20 or 30 years with someone that you won't bump into in the hereafter?
Granted, the above situation, in retrospect, could have been avoided if I would have simply noticed the pentagram tattoo on the wrist or the less visible 666 on the license plate. But, ever the optimist, I like to believe that everyone is entitled to their own belief system. Unless you're blowing up buildings or dropping children down wells, I figure I can find 20 minutes in my schedule to have a latte, as long as you're paying.
My grandma would say you should never complain about being single if you are always washing your hair on Saturday night. I forget, dearest, that most of you do not speak Southern. Allow me to translate. You have to get out there and make yourself available!
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